Just Noticing #004 - A paper raincoat

Holy ROSALÍA, masala beans and queer walks.

As I’m jotting in my lined notebook on Sunday afternoon at our local café, a sense of odd, inexplicable excitement keeps interrupting me.

Nothing big planned for today, or for the week. I simply cannot stop thinking about the fact that I am writing on the last page of my first ever journal.

I started journalling on 28 April last year, making today the 556th diary entry.

The night before my first journal entry, we’d been at a dinner party at Lucy and Rosie’s, a couple we’d met at a birthday a few weeks earlier. Re-reading that first entry, the night comes back in colour. They are brilliant hosts and conversationalists. I remember the terracotta pink walls and warmly lit living space, the Ottolenghi aubergine dips, and the many stories about Lisa from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We laughed, we ate, we poured glass after glass. A great night overall.

But as I flip through those first pages, I’m reminded it wasn’t all happy. Those early weeks capture the headspace perfectly. I was burnt out, unhappy, chasing career status while trying to work out why that felt wrong and what to do instead. I feel a bit queasy re-living it. That tangled brain feels right under the skin, and I want to unpick it.

Through burnout, family loss, and identity crisis, I read a stack of self-help books, listened to days’ worth of podcasts, and cycled through a gazillion different journalling prompts.

Don’t get me wrong. Listening to people who study this stuff, and have the data, helped me see myself differently. But even with the best intentions, the path was muddy.

Earlier this week I read a newsletter by Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks (a book that honestly changed how I see life).

The issue isn’t with journal prompts or daily routines or dumbphones (or productivity systems or meditation practices or weight-loss drugs) in themselves. The issue is with the understandable human tendency to want to use such things to hold the world at bay, so you don’t quite have to plunge in, so that they might, in some subtle way, do the living for you.”

My journal - can buy one here

Journalling radically changed how I manage the day-to-day. I write my thoughts down and straighten them out when they start to zigzag. I notice things my recovering tech-(gay) bro brain used to miss. I crave creativity more than ever. Everything feels bolder, more colourful. Even colours look sharper.

Although I did have laser eye surgery this summer, to be fair.

Jokes aside, here’s the point. Journalling has been the best raincoat I couldn’t have done without on the wet days. I cannot recommend it enough to anyone, regardless of where you’re at in life.

But I am aware that I have had to still step into the puddles before seeing the rainbow.

Oliver continues:

“The one thing to do, in my opinion, is to forget techniques and practices for now, and instead pick something you care about, a creative task, a relationship, a leisure activity, anything, and actually address yourself to it, however stumblingly, for a few minutes, today.”

I keep a postcard from the National Gallery’s 200th anniversary celebration tucked into the flap of my journal’s leather cover. It’s a faded black-and-white portrait of William Morris with a steady, penetrating gaze, plant drawings behind him. On the back: “William Morris believed beauty should enrich everyday life.”

It inspires me when I am not up for the stumbling work, and it keeps me on the path: notice the beautiful things, and share them with beautiful people.

Other Noticings

Listen

ROSALÍA — Lux
Believe the hype. ROSALÍA’s latest album is a monumental, brave piece of contemporary art. But beware: it’s “maximalist”, as she puts it. If you want a time-filler or a MOTOMAMI bops, this isn’t it. If you’re craving forty-nine minutes of immersive, demanding listening, featuring the London Symphony Orchestra, 13 languages, and piercing lyrics devoted to female saints, you’re in for a treat.

I very much embrace BBC presenter Nick Grimshaw’s state of being after listening to the record:

It made me want to think about my posture. It made me want to think about religion. It made me want to redecorate my house. This is what album this is. It’s holy.

Eat

Trinco — East Dulwich, London
I had the best baked beans on toast I’ve tasted in ages. Sri Lankan–inspired, Trinco serves from breakfast through dinner inside Oru Space in East Dulwich. Their masala baked beans are the epitome of umami, delicately paired with thick sourdough, a fried egg, and halloumi on top. Exquisite for a hangover breakfast.

Do

LGBTQIA+ guided tour, Tate Modern - London
I’m a sucker for guided tours. I love hearing people’s interpretations of the art and the artists’ stories they care about most, and this theme is close to me for obvious reasons. I’ve done the tour before; you’ll see different works depending on the volunteer. It’s volunteer-led and completely free. My favourite work from last week’s tour was Andy Warhol’s Christ $9.98 (Negative and Positive).

It is the artist’s howl of grief and anger at the government’s failures during the AIDS crisis.

Christ $9.98 (Negative and Positive), 1985–86 - Andy Warhol

Read

For Starters (newsletter)
I daydream about opening a wine-and-crisps-and-hifi-listening-and-interiors-and-everything-I-like bar every other day and, while it’s not happening soon (or is it 🤷🏻‍♂️), I love reading about tenacious creatives building exciting, quirky small businesses in For Starters. In a world of gloom and doom, Daniel Giacopelli’s newsletter (ex-Monocle, ex-Courier) is the weekly beam of positivity our inbox deserves. The latest edition features a cute interview with Instagram sensation Danny D’s Mud Shop.

Places

Beti Jai Pelota Court - Madrid, Spain
As I was looking for answers after listening to ROSALÍA’s record, I stumbled upon her recent interview with radio presenter Zane Lowe. There’s so much wisdom in it (“I want to learn to desire less”), and the setting — Beti Jai Pelota Court, a late-19th-century pelota stadium — is breathtaking.

Drink

Persian Daiquiri at Funky Dory - Peckham, London
We stopped in for a pre-dinner drink on Friday night at our neighbourhood bar, Funky Dory. All cocktails here are delicious, but the Persian Daiquiri really hit the spot. Tangy and floral, dangerously easy to drink.

Happy noticing. See you next week.